You have a long-time partner. Lately, you notice he’s being extra sweet. Maybe he’s even acting unnecessarily mushy. Sometimes he acts nervously around you. Other times, he acts sufficiently self-assured, as if he knows you can’t live without him. You often catch him looking at you, at once bewildered and affectionate. You’re confused.
And then a mutual friend tells you what’s going on. Your partner has bought a braided diamond engagement ring, and he’s about to propose. You have the right to feel all sorts of emotions about this news. After all, how you respond to it will change your life. Refrain from making a knee-jerk reaction. Here are the signs that will tell you’re ready to say yes.
You’re happy with your career
There’s no reason to derail your career for the prospect of marriage. So if you feel like you still haven’t reached the point in your career where you can say that you’re happy with your past accomplishments and you’re assured there’s still a lot to look forward to, you might want to seriously consider commissioning a mugger to steal your partner’s engagement ring, if only to postpone the proposal. That’s what a girlboss would do.
In all seriousness, it’s perfectly fine to choose career over love. If the love in question is truly meant for you, it’ll be willing to wait.
You’re in your best shape health-wise
You practice yoga. You go to the gym at least twice a week. The meals you eat have sufficient portions of fruits and vegetables. You’re sleeping well, and even at work, your stress levels remain manageable. You feel like your skin glows. And the blues have left for good, leaving a kaleidoscope of happy colors in its wake. By all means, go shopping for a wedding dress. You need someone to share all that positivity with.
Meanwhile, if you feel like you’re weighed down by unseen forces both physically and mentally, you’re better off saying no to a wedding proposal. You do not want to get married and see a miserable bride in the photos.
You know what you stand for
You will know that you have a firm grasp of who you are once you figure out what you stand for. Do you champion gender equality? Do you believe that the gender pay gap is nonsense? Do you support the rise of the welfare state? These are just some of the questions you need to reckon with. The answers you arrive at will help you get to know the person that you are. A strong sense of self will come in handy when you finally decide to tie the knot.
You’re beginning to feel motherly
Some women can go through the rest of their lives without any inclination toward mothering a child. And that’s perfectly normal. Now if you’re starting to feel more and more motherly and you’re too close to feeding your sleeping boyfriend a bottle of milk, chances are you’re well suited for marriage. You’re aching to start a family. A marriage proposal from your boyfriend will be a sigh of relief. Start planning your entourage and obsessing about guests’ table placements at the wedding reception.
Your partner’s annoying habits don’t bother you anymore
Your boyfriend snores. Or make weird noises when he eats. Or he doesn’t drink enough water which you find very frustrating. However, you’ve grown to accept these little quirks or flaws. And you’ve been somewhat endeared to them, in fact. This is another sign that you’re ready to commit to your partner for the long haul.
On the other hand, if you can’t help finding things to criticize about your partner and still profess that you love him, get out fast before it’s too late.
Marriage is not for everyone. Just because everyone’s doing it doesn’t mean you’re required to do it too. Do it because you want to. Not because of social expectations. Not because your mom or dad’s bugging you for a grandchild. Or your friends can’t wait to throw you a bachelorette party.
If you decide to say yes, congratulations. That means you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with your soul mate. You’ll have someone to look after. And they will look after you too. Sometimes, you’ll quarrel. But that’s part and parcel of the whole deal. The important thing is that even amid misunderstandings, no matter how petty or grave, you treat each other with the utmost respect.