While the internet is an extraordinary tool for sharing information and connecting with other people, it is also a readily available means of harassing and intimidating people. Women are subjected to an astounding amount of harassment and threatening behavior on the internet and in the ten years I’ve been publishing my work electronically, I have received all manner of hate mail, from the annoying, “Go back to the kitchen” to the death threats that I turned over to law enforcement.

I am hardly alone in this.  It has gotten so bad that blogger and activist Sady Doyle recently started a Twitter campaign using the hashtag #MenCallMeThings to raise awareness about just how bad it is.  As Doyle explained on her blog,

It doesn’t matter how uniquely charming and witty and acquainted with various fine bourbons you are. Are you a woman? Then they don’t like you.And they especially don’t like you telling them what to do. By, for example, asking them to cut it out with the misogyny.

What I got, friends, were comments. Comments about myself. And blogs about myself. And message-board discussions, also about myself. And e-mails. What I got was what every woman (feminist or not) and openly anti-sexist person (woman or not) on this our Internet gets: I got targeted. With threats, with insults, with smear campaigns, with attempts to threaten my employment or credibility or just general ability to get through the day with a healthy attitude and a minimal amount of insult.

Although as a matter of policy, I usually don’t publish blatantly misogynist comments or respond to them,  they are still in my inbox and they throw my mind off kilter sometimes to the point where I can’t write.  While I know of course that they don’t reflect on me, these toxic missives sometimes still get under my skin, making me both angry and despairing.  Comments such as,

All of u stupid b*****. You don`t wanna cook on Thanksgiving Day, then you don`t eat!!! Go to McD and get a burger with large fries, as I am sure all of are overweight/anorexic.

and,

Just sick and tired of all you good for nothing educatedbut illitrate “feminists” (sic) taking stats out of your hats like some magician.

are not enabling to say the least. (Also sadly, correct spelling and basic grammar competence tend to be quite optional in hate mail.)

On a personal level, it is hard to understand how on earth  the men who write these comments could possibly think saying such things are acceptable,  But when I wake up at three in the morning pondering why this is, it doesn’t take much to realize  that the answer lies in large part in the relentless sexist and misogynist messaging that permeates our media, on radio and television, in movies and video games and on the internet.

One website that has recently come under fire for enabling the acceptability of misogynist hate speech is Facebook.  For a long time, they have allowed all manner of pro-rape pages, justifying them as expressions of free speech. It finally took a massive social media campaign to get them to begin to re-examine their policy.  As this article on ZDNet explains,

It only took two long months, over 186,000 signatures on a petition to Mark Zuckerberg, and finally a furious Twitter campaign to get Facebook to remove Pages that graphically celebrated and encouraged rape and sexual violence.

Perhaps the most disheartening thing is that this systemic exclusion does not seem to be improving. It is important to realize that not only does this point apply to mainstream lists such as those compiled by The New York Times, but also to self-proclaimed progressive media, a point illustrated by a post by Sarah Irani for Eco-Salon that was reposted on Alternet, 28 Must-Read Books That Will Forever Change How You See the World where less 25% of the authors are women. Tillie Olsen’s clasic book that documents this very exclusion, Silences wasn’t on the list, but obviously the folks at Alternet and Eco-Salon would profit from reading it. We expect these ratios in the more traditional media, but it is particularly galling to realize that spaces that are considered liberal and progressive  still so persistently insist that the important voices are those that are male.

As for the mainstream media, of note (although it is not a list of authors) is a list just published by Foreign Policy, The FP Top 100 Global Thinkers, on which you are not highly likely to find your name unless you happen to have a Y chromosome.

Which brings me to this  action from Take Back The Tech for the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, which challenges whose voices are considered expert in the media,

Across the world, women are under-represented in the news. Female experts are rarely interviewed, there are fewer female reporters, and women are often portrayed in stereotypical ways. Women are more likely to have their age and family status reported than men, and it’s far more likely that their appearance will be commented on.

This leads to the perception that women are only fit to comment as bystanders and observers, where news is something that happens to women, not something that is made by women. Women also often appear in stories about violence, locating them as victims in society instead of opinion leaders and decision-makers.

The reason often given by members of the media for not featuring women experts is because there aren’t any who knows the topic at hand. In reality, women are active participants in all aspect of social, economic, political and cultural life, and there are plenty of women with knowledge around. The reason they are not included is because of a preconceived idea that men are experts in those area. For example, in science and technology, war or medicine.

As I’ve pointed out far too many times, it is exactly because of the damaging exclusion of women’s voices across the media spectrum that it is crucial to support women-positive media. And yes, there is a donate button on the right hand top corner of the Feminist Peace Network website.

In one bit of good news regarding women’s voices, a huge shout-out to our friends at Joy of Resistance: Multicultural Feminist Radio on WBAI (99.5 FM, streaming live on the web) who are moving to an evening time slot, from 9-10 pm est on the 1rst and 3rd Wednesdays of the month beginning in December. As Executive Producer Fran Luck points out, this is really important because it will mean that they, “will finally be able to reach women who are at work or in school during the late morning hours during which we previously aired–and can now hope to build a larger feminist listenership in the three States reached by WBAI’s signal”. Congratulations Joy of Resistance! (Note–click here for a great essay by Fran Luck about Joy of Resistance.)

For more ideas about ways you can change the delusional exclusion of women’s voices in the media, click here.

1. The following terms are correct usage: violence against women, gender-based violence and sexist violence.

2. Gender-based violence is a crime insofar as it is illegal behavior that must be prevented and punished, a social problem, an assault on the right to life, dignity, and physical and psychological integrity of women, and an issue that concerns the defense of human rights.

3. We will uproot from our work the term “crime of passion” to refer to murders of women who are victims of gender violence. Crimes of passion do not exist.

4. It is of the utmost importance to protect the identity of the victim, rather than that of the aggressor. Make it clear who is the aggressor and who is the victim, and indicate what attitudes and situations may put women in violent relationships at risk, to help raise their awareness about their situation.

5. Some information can harm the victims and their families. It is not always a good idea to identify the victim. It is offensive to refer to victims by diminutives, short forms of proper names, nicknames, and so on.

6. We will never look for justifications or “motives” (alcohol, drugs, arguments, jealousy, a couple’s separation, infidelity, and so on) that only distract attention from the central issue: violence. The cause of gender-based violence is the control and domination that certain men exercise over women.

7. It is essential to check the facts, especially from official sources.

8. Keep the subject on the agenda by denouncing violence in all its forms: psychological, economic, and emotional, without waiting for women to be killed. Tell the story taking into account the uniqueness of each event, but also the elements that each has in common with other cases. This will help us avoid the use of expressions like “once again” or “yet another case of,” and prevent a dulling of sensitivities.

9. Be particularly careful with the photographs and images illustrating the article. Respect the victims and their families, and avoid sexism, sensationalism and obscenity. Never steal images or audio material from a victim. When using a musical background, do not select motifs that inspire terror, or lyrics that talk about “love-sickness” or jealousy.

10. Our articles will always include a free telephone helpline number for victims, and any other information that may be useful for them.

Clearly this is a very excellent list that can be utilized by journalists throughout the world and we congratulate the authors for creating this excellent tool.  Please send it to your local media and the news websites that you visit.

In Mexico:

Posters such as the one here popped up on bus stops and billboards along my route to work across central Mexico City last week.

They feature men well known in Mexico — journalists, sports personalities, actors and singers — asking that their fellow males stop beating up and abusing women.

The captions on this poster say: “From man to man, more respect, let’s learn to listen to and work with women. Let’s be more fair, more like men,” and “Punches? Against a woman? Never!”

The campaign is being run by the National Women’s Institute.

In South Africa:

The South African NGO Sonke Gender Justice (Sonke), works within a human rights framework to promote gender equality and reduce the spread and impact of HIV and AIDS.

To increase men’s commitment to gender equality, Sonke Gender Justice is currently implementing its One Man Can (OMC) Campaign in all of the country’s nine provinces and a number of 8 Southern African countries.

The purpose of the OMCC is twofold: to challenge the attitudes and behaviours held by men that compromise their own health and safety as well as the health and safety of women and children; and to encourage men to become actively involved in responding to gender based violence and the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

Sonke Gender Justice currently implements OMCC workshops with various groups of men in communities across South Africa and has provided training on the OMCC to a broad range of key stakeholders including government departments at the national and provincial levels as well as to traditional healers, faith based leaders, the police, youth serving organizations, in and out of school youth, teachers and other CBOs and NGOs.

In Montenegro:

A coalition of interested parties in Montenegro is marking a global campaign against sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV) by encouraging fathers and father figures to set an example to young males.

The Montenegrin initiative was launched by the UN refugee agency and partners to coincide with the annual 16 Days of Activism to Eliminate Violence Against Women, an international campaign originating from the first Women’s Global Leadership Institute in 1991. The 16 days began on November 25.The father project, drawing on material provided by the United States-based Family Violence Prevention Fund, has been developed and funded by UNHCR, sister UN agencies, the Montenegrin government, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE), the Fund for an Open Society and popular local sport coaches, Petar Porobic and Igor KolakovićIn the deeply patriarchal Montenegrin society, the campaign calls upon fathers and father figures, including teachers, mentors, uncles, older brothers and sports coaches to lead by example and teach boys that all forms of violence against women are wrong. It emphasizes the importance of the father as a role model to the son.Some 10,000 campaign posters have been distributed in schools, health centres and social welfare centres around the country. Several sports associations are supporting the campaign, with players wearing campaign T-shirts before matches. Billboards broadcast the messages of tolerance and respect, while TV and radio spots are being aired for free.

In New Zealand:

Men are being encouraged to wear a white ribbon and take a stand against domestic violence today.

White Ribbon Day, started by a men’s group in Canada in 1991, has now been designated by the United Nations as the official day to mark the campaign to eliminate violence against women.

The day has been organised by the Families Commission and more than 500,000 ribbons will be handed out. The ribbons were packaged by Rimutaka Prison inmates, with $357,000 funding supplied by eight government departments, including the Social Development Ministry, Justice Ministry and police.

It was hoped the campaign would challenge men’s attitudes toward violence, Social Development and Employment Minister Paula Bennett said. “The vast majority of Kiwi men are decent blokes, loving dads, and caring partners. But there is no escaping grim statistics that show most violence by men against women takes place in the home.”

In Scotland:

Police in Dumfries and Galloway have asked men in the region to “stand up and be counted” in a campaign against domestic abuse.

Officers in the region are called out to between three and four such incidents every 24 hours.

Deputy Chief Constable George Graham has urged men to join in the national White Ribbon campaign.

He said that the majority of men were not violent and they had to speak out against such crimes.

Mr Graham said the campaign was an opportunity for people to promise they would never “commit or condone” violence against women.

“Across the UK 25% of all violent crime is domestic violence and violence against women,” he said.

“You can see that if we can get men to stand up and be counted it would make a big difference.”

“Women are often the first member of the household to discover their status through testing during pregnancy, and as such, can result in blame by partners or members of their family. Such blame can catalyze violence in the family, rejection, and tolerance to the partner in seeking other sexual partners. Women living with HIV/AIDS who hold primary responsibility in supporting their families may be unwilling to continue treatment to be able to continue to receive State-based grants based on their HIV status.

Violence against women affects women living with HIV/AIDS in particular ways. Marital rape and child sexual abuse can directly contribute to the spread of the disease. Situations of domestic violence also mean that women have little power to negotiate for safer sex through condom use. These are often silent and hidden crimes, where survivors have to overcome various barriers from shame and stigma to lack of legal recourse before being able to confront the possibility of infection and to manage treatment.”

Be sure to also click the Take Back The Tech icon in the column next to this post to learn about other actions you can take today and every day during the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence .

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