Memo to Tina Fey

Memo:  To Tina Fey–Immediate Action Required
Topic:  The retirement of your Sarah Palin persona may have been a tad premature…

So here’s the deal–
I started having withdrawal symptoms the day after the election, what was I going to do with out my daily dose of Sarah??  Journalists everywhere were suddenly faced with thinking of other topics to fill the space she left behind.  But there is good news for Sarah junkies! Finally freed of her McCain campaign minders, Sarah Palin is talking to the press, and what a mouthful is tumbling out!  For openers, in an interview with Greta Van Susteren on Fox News’ “On The Record” she showcased her Alaskan sensibility with  what is best described as a snowplow metaphor where she talks about plowing through open doors.

And then there is Sarah’s dad, Chuck Heath who, after welcoming her home with Moose chili, told the media that his daughter is “frantically” trying to sort out which clothes in her closet belong to her and which are the property of the RNC,

“She was just frantically … trying to sort stuff out,” Heath said. “That’s the problem, you know, the kids lose underwear, and everything has to be accounted for.”

As a seasoned parent and veteran of the lost clothes wars I’ll just offer this–look behind the clothes dryer.  No doubt her finest hour upon hour upon hour in the limelight of post election afterglow was her interview  with Fox’s Greta Van Susteren whose opening line was a definite harbinger of what was to come:

GVS: Governor, it must be fun to be back in your office here in Anchorage.

SP:  It’s great. It’s great. A lot of work to do, so it’s good to be back.

Oh sure, we totally believe that you’d rather be in Alaska than headed for Washington.  Then Van Susteren and the still Gov got down to the real dirt about the clothes:

GVS:  All right. Let me clarify some loose ends here. The clothes — what is the story on the clothes?

SP:  The clothes. When I arrived at the convention, there were clothes waiting for me and clothes being ordered for me and for the family, for eight of us. And ever since then, those clothes, knowing that they didn’t belong to me, many of them had been returned, many of them were put in the belly of the airplane, and some of them were returned home with me. We boxed them all up, sent them back to the rightful owners, the Republican National Committee. And that’s the story on the clothes.

Put in the belly of the plane?  Oh never mind.  It must be because I’m a feminist and Palin’s a faux feminist that has me all riled up…

GVS:  Well, it’s interesting. You lured some feminists to the Republican ticket, which you might not expect. I mean, feminists have typically been Democrats. By feminists, I mean some of the farther left. But you lured some of them. But if you think about it, a woman on the ticket is very exciting for women. Why do you think that you didn’t get more women? I mean, you’re a working woman. You’ve been successful as a governor. Why do you think some women probably weren’t lured to your ticket?

SP: I don’t know, but I’m going to work harder on that, if anything ever happens in the future in terms of me running for office, to kind of put more women at ease, I guess, with the idea of me or any other woman serving in higher office. I think that it’s really important because I truly believe that we have more in common than we have differences, when we want to make sure that our communities are healthy and safe and that we have health care for our children and that our daughters have equal opportunities in the workforce. All those things that we have in common, again, certainly outweigh the differences than perhaps we have.

So I would like to see, perhaps, some of these feminist women — and sometimes, you know, I consider myself, too, as a feminist, whatever that means. In fact, I subscribe to Feminists for Life. I’m a pro-life woman who wants to make sure that, you know, we cherish the sanctity of life. And this group, Feminists for Life, sort of encapsulates all that I believe in with that — with the pro-life movement.

You know, or more to the point, you so don’t know what a feminist is but you consider yourself to be one?  You know. Whatever. And then there is the fact that I’m one of those awful pajama wearing bloggers, can’t say it much better than Sue Katz,

“I’ll say it loud and I’ll say it proud: I’m a blogger in my pajamas. In one of the more insidious of the cornucopia of interviews that Palin has been conducting this week, she told the fawning, hyperventilating Greta Van Susteren (Fox News) that her bad press was the result of  “some blogger, probably sitting there in their parents’ basement, wearing pajamas, blogging some kind of gossip, or a lie”.

“Way to go, Sarah! In your ubiquitous campaign of political rehabilitation and self-redemption, be sure to slag off bloggers. That’ll improve their attitude towards you. Dis people who work from home. After all, since you play Governor from your home in Wasilla instead of Alaska’s capital city Juneau, you know all about it. Criticize other people’s clothes – you know, those schmucks who don’t shop for their nighties at Neiman Marcus.

Go ahead and infantilize bloggers while showing off your total misunderstanding of what blogging is. No, it isn’t like some meth lab that requires a hidden basement room.”

Katz then goes on to point out that Palin’s use  of the pajama metaphor isn’t even original, imagine that.  And check out  Rachel Maddow’ s take on the fashion diss that Katz has posted!

But when it comes down to it, you gotta hand it to Dennis Miller, recipient of this week’s Dick in Brain Disease Award for nailing it on the head of his, oh never mind:

“She’s a great dame. People are fascinated by her because the Left hate her. I think the Left hate her — mostly women on the Left hate her — because to me from outside in it appears that she has a great sex life, all right? I think she has non-neurotic sex with that Todd Palin guy. … I think that snow mobile looks like mechanized foreplay to me and that’s why people are fascinated.”

I know–we all thought she’d just snowmobile out of here after the election, but since we’ve been blessed with an encore Palin performance, surely you can see where your patriotic duty lies…

Signed,

Your devoted fan and proud to be a feminist sex-starved pajama-clad blogger.  You betcha.