Mommy Gets A Tummy Tuck--Sure To Be A Children's Classic

Oh I just can’t think of enough bad things to say about this book but for starters…

So here’s the deal, kids–Mom gained a few pounds and stretchmarks giving birth to you. Yes you, and in a world where size 0 is the new size 6, that means that every day Mommy is subjected to a gazillion messages telling her that her body is no longer beautiful. Therefore, Mommy is going to subject herself to major surgery in order to feel good about herself again but really it is no big deal, getting a new belly is just like getting a new dress or new lipstick except you get a big bandage…

Dr Michael Salhauer’s “My Beautiful Mommy” (be sure to check out the photo gallery that accompanies the review) will be out just in time for, yes you guessed it, Mother’s Day.

“It features a perky mother explaining to her child why she’s having cosmetic surgery (a nose job and tummy tuck). Naturally, it has a happy ending: mommy winds up “even more” beautiful than before, and her daughter is thrilled.”

“What’s the market for a children’s picture book about moms getting cosmetic surgery? No one specifically tracks the number of tummy-tuck-and-breast-implant combos (or “mommy makeovers,” as they’re called), but according to the latest numbers from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, breast augmentation was the most popular cosmetic surgery procedure last year, with 348,000 performed (up 6 percent over 2006). Of those, about one-third were for women over 40 who often opt for implants to restore lost volume in their breasts due to aging or pregnancy weight gain. There were 148,000 tummy tucks—up 1 percent from the previous year.”

“”My Beautiful Mommy” is aimed at kids ages four to seven and features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: “You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better.” Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

The text doesn’t mention the breast augmentation, but the illustrations intentionally show Mom’s breasts to be fuller and higher. “I tried to skirt that issue in the text itself,” says Salzhauer. “The tummy lends itself to an easy explanation to the children: extra skin and can’t fit into your clothes. The breasts might be a stretch for a six-year-old.”"

No shit, and what is the deal with the nose job?? Somehow I just don’t see this piece of predatory self-serving drivel on the bookshelf next to “The Cat in the Hat.”

“The article goes on to discuss the psychological ramifications of trying to explain to young children that major surgery as nothing more than another way to be pretty.

Then there are the body image issues raised by cosmetic surgery—especially for daughters. Berger worries that kids will think their own body parts must need “fixing” too. The surgery on a nose, for example, may “convey to the child that the child’s nose, which always seemed OK, might be perceived by Mommy or by somebody as unacceptable,” she says.”

But just to be sure that you undertake this little renovation job safely, the last line of the article points to Newsweek’s own guide to getting breast implants safely. But better yet, go check out Beauty and the Breast and learn about why breast implants aren’t safe.