The Yemen Times‘ recent opinion piece by Maged Thabet Al-Kholidy is truly beyond belief. Titled “There Must Be Violence Against Women“, Al Kholidy’s screed rightly begins with an understanding that the title might be a tad “strange”. Horrendous, unacceptable and misogynist might be more accurate, but we’ll let the author’s words speak for themselves,
“This title may sound strange, but it’s actually not just a way to attract readers to the topic because I really do mean what it indicates. Violence is a broad term, especially when used regarding women. In this piece, I want to shed light on those instances where violence against women is a must.”
Say what?? The author goes on to complain that,
“Some human rights organizations recently have attacked violent acts against women, standing against any type of violence – even that between a father and daughter.”
No kidding. The piece goes on to explain in great detail the circumstances under which violence against women is acceptable. Bottom line–it is much preferable to women going to the police or in some way bringing in to question the family’s honor.
“If a man and woman are husband and wife, the Qur’an provides solutions, firstly reaffirming any logical and acceptable reasons for such punishment. These solutions are in gradual phases and not just for women, but for men also.
For men, it begins with abandoning the marital bed, by opting to sleep elsewhere in the house. After this, they may discuss the matter with any respected person for the husband’s or the wife’s family, who could be in a position to advise the wife. If this also does not work, then the husband yields to beating the wife slightly. They do this because of a misunderstanding in the Quran, as the word says Darban, which is commonly understood today as beating. However, in Classic Arabic it means to set examples or to announce and proclaim. The more accurate meaning of this last one is that the husband finally has to set forth, to make a clear statement or proclamation, and if these measures fail, then divorce is preferable.
Similarly, wives may take actions such as abandoning the marital bed, following by leaving the husband’s home for that of their parents, brothers or any other relatives. They may do this more than once, but if such action fails, they may not continue to live with their husband and via their relatives, they may request a divorce.
Despite such instructions, beating is considered a type of violence, according to human rights organizations, which urge women to complain to the police. I just wonder what kind of families our societies would have if Muslim women started doing this regarding their husbands.
Relationships between fathers and daughters or sisters and brothers also provoke argument from human rights organizations, which propose the suggested solutions for all relationships. Personally, I don’t think fathers or brothers would undertake such behavior unless there was a reason for it.
Fathers are responsible for their daughters’ behavior, but human rights organizations deny this too. Brothers also should take action regarding their sisters’ behavior, especially if their parents are too old or dead. If a daughter or sister makes a mistake – especially a moral one – that negatively affects the entire family and its reputation, what’s the solution by such organizations?
According to them, women should complain to the courts about any type of violence against them. Likewise, should fathers and brothers complain to police if their daughters or sisters violate moral, Islamic or social norms?
Fathers should handle their daughters via any means that suits their mistake; thus, is it better to use violence to a certain limit or complain to the police? Shall such women then complain to the police against their fathers or brothers? It’s really amazing to hear this.”
This outrageous piece of misogyny ends with this,
“Dear readers – especially women – don’t think that I hate or am against women (my note–it would be hard to think otherwise…); rather, I simply mean to preserve the morals and principles with which Islam has honored us.
I hope my message is clear, since it’s really quite relevant to the future of our societies, which must be protected from any kind of cultural invasion.”
To put it far more politely than it ought to be put, misogynist violence and the denial of human rights, let alone civil law can never be justified by ‘culture’. It is hatred in its vilest form, and unacceptable under any circumstances.
The good news is that the Yemen Times helpfully provides the author’s email, majed_thabet@hotmail.com. By all means, feel free to share your thoughts with him.
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