Although it was almost 20 years ago, in the pre-internet era, I still remember the incredible sense of isolation that I felt after my first child was born. The overwhelming responsibility of suddenly being responsible for the welfare of an infant, the sleepless nights, hours sitting in my rocking chair nursing my baby left little time or energy to get out of the house and connect with other moms.
The advent of the internet has changed all that, opening up a myriad of ways for today’s moms to connect–discussion groups, blogs, etc., even when you are stuck at home with a sick child. Nowhere was that more clear than in the organizing of Applebee’s Nurse-In protests this last weekend.
Last June, Lexington, KY mother Brooke Ryan was asked by the manager of a local Applebee’s to cover herself up while nursing her baby, in violation of Kentucky law which prohibits interfering with nursing mothers. What Applebee’s apparently forgot is that if there is one thing mamas are very, very good at, it is organizing, think PTA bake sales and carpools. With the help of a discussion group, in a matter of weeks, lactivists organized protests at 100 Applebee’s locations in 44 states.
In Lexington, some 200 people showed up at the Applebee’s where the incident had taken place. Rev. Cynthia Cain, who attended the rally said it succinctly, “It’s not just about the mom’s rights, it’s about the baby’s right to eat.”
Needless to say, there were some great signs at the various rallies, including one that said, “Eat at Mom’s.”
Applebee’s issued this statement in response to the protest,
“Our goal as restaurant operators is to provide a great dining experience for all out guests. This situation has provided an opportunity for us to work with our associates to ensure we’re making nursing mothers feel welcome. We ask that mothers who nurse their children in our restaurant to do so in a respectful manner.”
At the risk of stating the obvious, what could possibly be disrespectful about feeding a child? Despite the corporate cluelessness, some participants reported that restaurant managers at some of the Applebee’s targeted by the protest had responded in a positive manner, including holding discussions with their staff about the issue.
The Phoenix, AZ Fox affiliate had a wonderful report (I know, hard to believe, but every once in awhile they get it right) where the reporter briefly covers the screen with a blanket to prove how dumb it is to demand that babies eat in the dark. As one Phoenix mom suggests in the report, a better strategy might be for Applebee’s to give the blankets to patrons who are offended so they can cover their eyes.
One odd note, as you can tell in the Fox report, the statement Applebee’s handed out looked like it was hastily printed off, not on company letterhead. Several protesters wonder if it might have been taken from a longer statement, would be interesting to find out, stay tuned.
A final thought–this story has gotten an astounding amount of mainstream media coverage. And not that it isn’t a good story that ought to be covered, but the bottom line is that one of the reasons the media covered it was because it involved not being covered. Bottom line is frontal nudity for any reason sells, take your clothes off and the media will be there, a lesson the activist Starhawk found out a few years ago when in an effort to get media coverage for an event, she hinted that there might be nude women there. The media came and promptly left when they found out they’d been had.
I bring this up because in a few short weeks it will once again be National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and when the monthly magazines hit the shelf, there will be story after story about young breast cancer victims with plenty of pictures of diseased breasts. October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month but that story will barely get a mention, just not sexy enough. So not in any way to belittle the fabulous job that the organizers of this event have done or the wonderful women who participated in this totally righteous protest, but we need to also be cognizant of the context in which the media (un)coverage occurred.
20 Responses to “Eat at Mom’s: National Applebee’s Nurse-In a HUGE Success (edited)”
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I see your point about nudity perhaps being a selling point of our event for the media. There is another point to be made here, too,. Every media representative who arrive (all male) kept commenting about how they “had to shoot at an angle” so “nothing” would be seen. They said “we’re going to take this to our editor and he’s going to say ‘we can’t use this! There’s a woman breastfeeding in this shot!’” There is an irony to this, obviously… there we were, telling the world that breastfeeding is not obscene. There they were, showing our story to the public. But they couldn’t show the whole story because it would be deemed obscene by their editor/censors.
Here is another comment received by mail from Kelly in New Jersey:
I have been breastfeeding since August 31st, 2003, the day my daughter was born. I have met her needs for nourishment, comfort, love, and security with breastfeeding, and I’ve done this in whatever place we happen to be at the time the need arose. In the moment of recognition of her need, there is no thought, only action: allow her to latch on. Her need is sacrosanct.
Breastfeeding on demand, for me, has never been an issue of women’s rights. It has nothing to do with a feminist agenda. It certainly has nothing to do with sex, or flaunting my breasts for the world to see. It is about human rights. It is about nurturing and meeting the needs of the most vulnerable members of our society in the best, most complete way possible.
In the last several decades, breastfeeding has been relegated to the fringes of acceptability, and our culture has suffered for it. This nurse-in sparked from a single incident to a nation-wide awareness event in one week. Nearly 2000 participants, more than double the number of participants in the Delta Airlines Nurse-In, mobilized, organized, and gathered across the nation to give voice to those who can’t – our nurslings. Breastfeeding needs to be acknowledged as the natural and healthy choice for our babies and toddlers, and it needs to be accepted as the norm. This nurse-in – and all the ones that came before, and all the ones that come after (and they will come, and the numbers of participants will grow) – is a crucial step in bringing the issues this society has about nursing into the light of day, from the twisted ways we sexualize breasts, to the fears of feminine power, and every odd thing in between. The discourse may be uncomfortable at first, but that will change with time. Thanks to all who spearheaded this event, and to all who participated.
The advent of the internet has greatly helped influence natural parenting, IMO. My mom said she would have breastfed us longer (did until about 9 mos) if she had had the support. (As it was, my grandmother constantly tried to undermine her nursing us.)
I am still nursing my almost 17-month-old daughter and have received much grief for it. Fortunately there are online communities and there are women like the women who have gathered together to protests Applebee’s treatment — and I am proud to say I went to a nurse-in at our local, very breastfeeding-friendly chain.
In the beginning, I used a Hooter Hider when NIP because I was uncomfortable around certain people. But that was my choice — and now that I am comfortable with NIP, I don’t use it. A restaurant, individual, etc…, however, has no right to tell you to cover up you and your child, especially when in violation of state law!
Thanks for your promotion on this.
I grew up in scotland in the thirties,where seeing a mother breast feeding her baby on the tramcars or buses was not an unusual sight.No one one thought this was scandalous,it was natural.Why do we allow almost naked pop stars to parade in skimpy underwear and its deemed perfectly alright..? Canadian television will show a female breast on the programme as long as it is part of the story i.e. [Breast cancer awareness]We have become a nation of prudes.
“A restaurant, individual, etc…, however, has no right to tell you to cover up you and your child”.
Uh, I believe you are incorrect. Of course they have the right to tell you that, or any other thing you may disagree with or find disagreeable. Depending on your state and local laws you may have every right to not heed the request, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have the right to make it.
If you’re unsure where in the Bill of Rights lies the right to tell others stuff whether they agree with it or not, you may want to re-read it (hint: it’s near the top).
Re Stozzel’s comment: This isn’t a free speech issue, it is about the right to feed your child without being harassed.
Harassment has a specific legal definition that certainly does not include a polite, one-time request. In fact, even the layman, non-legalese, dictionary definition includes words like “persistently” and “repeated”.
And when someone says that someone else has “no right” to say something, apparently based on the singular criterion that the first party doesn’t like what’s being said, it *is* a free speech issue. Saying it isn’t so doesn’t make it not so.
When the restaurant is breaking state law, then no, they don’t have the right to insist (or, as you apparently believe, politely ask) on you covering up. If that had happened in Florida, and I believe from what I remember reading the KY law is very similar, that restaurant could have gotten in some trouble!
You’re certainly entitled to your opinions on breastfeeding and nursing in public — but guess what? The law in most states acknowledges the baby’s inherent human right to breastfeed WITHOUT interference. In Florida, wherever we normally would be allowed, we are allowed to breastfeed — and asking a woman to cover is infringing upon that right and that statute.
By your definition of harrassment, a man could rub up his secretary’s breasts once and it’s okay. He had no right per KY law, the rights were hers. The offended party had a right to be offended, but not the right to allow their offence interfere per KY law.
Refer to Kentucky law that was broken, please. Before you so knowingly quote law, in your condescending tone, perhaps you should be knowledgeable about the law:
* * * * * * * * *
211.755 Breast-feeding permitted — Municipal ordinances not to prohibit or
restrict — Interference prohibited.
(1) Notwithstanding any other provision of the law, a mother may breast-feed her baby
or express breast milk in any location, public or private, where the mother is
otherwise authorized to be. Breast-feeding a child or expressing breast milk as part
of breast-feeding shall not be considered an act of public indecency and shall not be
considered indecent exposure, sexual conduct, lewd touching, or obscenity.
(2) A municipality may not enact an ordinance that prohibits or restricts a mother
breast-feeding a child or expressing breast milk in a public or private location where
the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be. In a municipal ordinance,
indecent exposure, sexual conduct, lewd touching, obscenity, and similar terms do
not include the act of a mother breast-feeding a child in a public or private location
where the mother and child are otherwise authorized to be.
(3) No person shall interfere with a mother breast-feeding her child in any location,
public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be.
Effective: July 12, 2006
History: Created 2006 Ky. Acts ch. 80, sec. 1, effective July 12, 2006.
* * * * * *
By sharing your thoughts you have helped show why this type of legislation is so very important.
It wasn’t a “polite, one-time request”. She left the restaurant in tears without her food. It would have been a similar situation if a waiter and then manager requested a person in a wheelchair to move to help make other patrons more comfortable. Besides, a senator has already agreed that Brooke Ryan’s rights were violated under Kentucky law. If you disagree you should take it up with him, he helped write it. Sure sounds like harassment to me.
stozzel,
I agree with some of what you’re saying. An individual does indeed have the right to say whatever they wish. The problem is when an individual speaks on behalf of a company or organization. I don’t know how the conversation between B.Ryan and Applebee’s went exactly so bear with me. If the employee had said something along the lines of “A customer is complaining, can you cover up the baby.” or “I would like it if you could cover the baby.” That would be within the person’s rights to say. Anyone would be within their rights to say that to the mother. The problem is when the employee turns their request into a demand. If they were to say “You need to cover up or I will not serve you” then that is not their right because the law says otherwise. A mom can nurse anywhere she likes. If they turn their opinion into a company policy or even harassment (not saying the Applebee’s incident was) that is going against the law – that is not a person’s right.
It has been shocking this week to learn how many people will spend energy trying to fight a woman’s right to breastfeed in public. Very disheartening since over a fourth of our children will go to bed without their 3 squares tonight. Where’s the outrage about that? Oh right, that would cost tax dollars to fix. Bitching about a woman shoveling a little nip in her baby’s mouth is free. Grow UP America!
And the people who oppose the right of mothers and babies to nurse in public rarely take any action beyond posting anonymous and inflammatory comments on blogs.
Those of us who are fighting for those rights, on the other hand, have been organizing and attending nurse-outs, writing and calling our legislators and attending hearings on bills to protect the rights of breastfeeding mothers and babies.
In other words, we’ve been exercising our right to free speech in ways that contribute to the democratic process, encourage dialogue and help highlight the need for a change in public perceptions about an issue (nursing in public) that the vast majority of Americans haven’t given much thought to.
As you examine this issue, please pay close attention to the source of a great deal of the objections to breast-feeding. Here’s a hint: these are often the same people who profess that they are “pro-life.” In other words, they tend to come from the Religion Industry Fundamentalism movement, a central tenet of which is that women are the source of “original sin,” and the “fall of Adam.”
The very foundation of fundamentalist dogmas like Wahabist Islam and Southern Baptist “christianity” is the mysoginistic determination to cast women and the functions of their bodies as “dirty.”
It’s always good to at least identify the enemy.
Bob – you could not be more wrong; however, yours is a common misperception. Take me, for example. I am a conservative, pro-life Christian. Stay-at-home mom, anti-feminist, whatever label you want to put on me, I will accept (though the truth is always a bit more complicated than labels, isn’t it?). I was also the organizer of the Applebee’s protest in my city.
Number one, I hold a firm belief that God designed our bodies, including our breasts, to give birth to and nourish children. While artificial baby milk (formula) may be necessary in some individual circumstances, the fact that our culture on the whole prefers it to what God made so well smacks, to me, of blasphemy.
Number two, while I advocate modesty in both dress and behavior, I rationally differentiate between that which ought to be done by virtuous Christian women, and that which should to be imposed upon the public by force of law (or not).
Furthermore, when I do nurse in public, it is more often than not without a blanket or cover. I hope I do so modestly. And I know many, many women like me who believe in using our bodies as God designed, and putting the needs of our families above the hang-ups of strangers.
Many people are offering criticism of the lactivists without knowing the law. The law flatly states that nobody can bother a nursing woman about nursing. If I were bottle-feeding my kid and somebody asked if I would cover up the bottle, I’d feel singled out, like I was doing something wrong. I’d be horribly embarrassed. Now let’s turn the bottle into the breast. Now it is attached to the body and something stigmatized as dirty and sexual (both unhealthy attitudes, if you ask me). It is being used for its naturally intended purpose. People in the USA have a much harder time accepting the breast for its naturally intended purpose than for selling beer. Show a topless woman and most men don’t lose their lunch. Show a woman latch a baby onto that breast and all of the sudden, she’s disgusting. What are new mothers supposed to think when they want to nurse but are met with such harsh criticism?
The manager absolutely had no right to say anything to her. According to the law they CANNOT interfere. That’s interfering. Period. Not a terribly hard thing to grasp.
Great job at the nurse-in :-)
Anonymous, when we tried to get the Legislature to address this issue where I live, it was the Right wing fundies who came out screaming about “obscenity” and “pornography” and “dirty.”
I’m not laboring under a misconception. I know the fundies for who they are. The same people who want to control womens’ wombs want to control their breasts.
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you did well keep it up.